Tuesday, April 17

Inside: a place that should be flower-free

About a week ago, I had a serious problem. I woke up with a throat that felt half-closed, with liquid draining down the back of my throat. My mouth felt numb, and I was sort of dizzy.

But I quickly dismissed the idea of a cold, remembering that this had happened the last two years around spring time. So I found some antihistamines, cursed my allergies, and succumbed to the side effects of the medication instead: dull-witted sleepiness. Basically, there is no way of getting around the wrath of my allergies.

Luckily, the rain came to New York and soaked up all the pollen or whatever was causing my entire face to feel like a swamp. Unfortunately, I wasted my health on booze and boys, and today at the office I again felt a familiar numbing of the throat.

"That's strange," I thought. "It's still wet and miserable outside; why would my allergies be coming back?"

And then I got off the elevator at the end of the day to find out that some retarded asshole who obviously has no allergies decided to put up an orchid show in the lobby of our building. How considerate. With any luck, it will be there until I leave in May.

8 comments:

Dropout! said...

Ooooh, an orchid show? Now I really want to come visit.

I mean... I feel very sorry for you?

me said...

ugh. i hate allergies. mine came out in full force this weekend. i am disgusting.

Anonymous said...

allergies suck - although my favorite flowers are orchids...

The Ambiguous Blob said...

flowers are so gorgeous. I have 2 bouqets in my house right now. but then, my allergies are not to flowers.

Moderator said...

Achoo.

tex said...

AMEN TAB! I have such bad allergies now I don't even want to work. So I'm reading this! Hope they get better soon!
tex

The Accidental Bitch said...

dropout - I would never have guessed that flowers would be the way to get you over here.

kittenpower - We don't deserve allergies. What did we DO?

princess extraordinaire - Don't be fooled. Orchids are like the Sirens: soooo beautiful, but soooo deadly.

the ambiguous blob - And that, my friend, is the ONLY reason I'm not over there all the time. Promise.

grant miller - Are you... mocking me? Hot.

tex - At least I help fuel unproductivity. Stick it to the man!

Unknown said...

My son is going through the same thing so I can empathize....

I hope an overworked air conditioner kills the orchids for you.