Thursday, September 18

Another addiction for me

I used to have a reason to stay up until dawn: a deadline, a late wrap on the film set, weekend partying. I would see the tinge of blue diluting the dark blanket of sky and I would stare. Fascinated. The sun was about to come up and I couldn't stop it.

On the train home from a shoot, I took constant pictures of the sky. They all looked the same, but I couldn't help it.

Working against the clock to finish papers in college, that tinge gave me a buzz. It was a challenge, a tangible signal that I was running out of time. It was terrifying and enticing.

Now, I have no reason. I have to go to work (as I call it; "internship" is embarrassing) at the same time, I get home around the same time, and I don't technically have any take-home things to do. No; of my own volition, I stay up until 3:30 or later, even when I was exhausted hours before. Even though I could barely stay awake at work. I stay up, I watch The West Wing or Mad Men or a movie.

Apparently I take joy simply in knowing that I should be, but am not, sleeping.

Wednesday, September 17

Moving to New York

Since quitting the awful job, I have:

- Moved into an apartment in Manhattan
- Gone to Ikea three times
- Started an internship at a film production company where names like Natalie Portman and Sam Rockwell are thrown around like darts
- Lost my debit card
- Lost my cell phone
- Had several arguments with my new roommate

My roommate is a friend from school whose ideas about life, it turns out, are very different from mine. Small differences in lifestyle make it surprisingly difficult to do things together. I like going out, she likes staying in; she likes cutesy-silly decor, I like cutesy-classic; she often misinterprets me, I often dislike what she says.

I guess I'm in for a big learning experience. And I thought losing my phone would be hard.