Sunday, March 23

Procrastinating on one thing by getting down to work on another

Tonight I was reading a website about time management as a way of procrastinating.

I think that might be the equivalent of what hundreds of addiction memoirs refer to as rock bottom. (I'm being tongue-in-cheek here, but I actually am addicted to procrastinating, so I guess that wasn't too funny.)

Anyway, all pieces of advice on procrastination, no matter how sweet, had an underlying message: "Just freaking do it already!"

"FINE" I said. "But first I will write a blog entry." After all, I've definitely been procrastinating on that.

I recently had several tests done because I've apparently stumped the medical community (two communities, actually, since I'm visiting my dad at the moment). What three doctors had assumed were thyroid problems have been dismissed by a top* endocrinologist as essentially "not my problem, lady." Though my thyroid is 2-3 times normal size and has increased bloodflow, and my blood is full of thyroid antibodies, the doc (who, after waiting for bloodwork to be faxed in, probably wanted me off his back so he could see other patients) told me there's nothing wrong. Seems a little counter-intuitive to me, since earlier in the appointment he had told me that thyroid antibodies are an indication of Graves disease. But hey, he's the one with the degree. When I asked him about my symptoms, specificially the not being able to breathe, he sort of shrugged and said to see a lung specialist.

After admitting I might be going crazy and picking up a book called "Learn to Relax", I began to feel like I was making everything up. On one of the first pages, almost all of my symptoms were listed as results of stress: muscle pain, fatigue, decreased appetite, loss of concentration and memory... Ticking off my symptoms, I smiled as I remembered this last one:

A week before, a friend complained that a mutual acquaintance had called her at 8am (an ungodly hour for a college student).

"She called me too!" I said. "I was already awake for my doctor's appointment, but still... she didn't know that."

"What did she want?" My friend asked.

I couldn't remember what the call had been about. I must have looked like a nutcase sitting there, trying to recall a conversation that had happened only three hours before.

So maybe my symptoms are from stress. That's certainly better than Graves disease, although I've never heard of stress-induced thyroid antibodies. Now I feel a little sheepish about the fact that my "heart palpitations" are bringing me in for an echocardiogram on Wednesday. What if I imagined all of it? I wonder if "Faker" is inscribed on my heart. Sure, it'd be embarrassing, but at least I'd have my answer.


*Source: my stepmom

10 comments:

Ginormous Boobs said...

Do your own research and talk to people in forums (with the same symptoms) about what they have discovered.

I have learned the hard way that doctors don't always know everything.

Anonymous said...

i really dont think antibodies can form from stress....keep investigating, seriously.

The Accidental Bitch said...

ginormous & anon - I will try... though I tend to end up diagnosing myself with really wacky things like Avian Flu

Epitome of Sweetness said...

Keep looking for a Dr who cares and will listen.
To them you're just a patient, to you it's your life.
Find someone else.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

I've been researching my health problem for more than 5 years now. Still no answer, but I finally found a doctor who isn't giving up after a few tries.
It's all about finding the right doc.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

I've been researching my health problem for more than 5 years now. Still no answer, but I finally found a doctor who isn't giving up after a few tries.
It's all about finding the right doc.

Anonymous said...

Hey~

I just came to your blog * started reading.....

I have Grave's Disease & have all the symptoms you listed, plus some. :) I would go see another Endocrinologist---they specialize in this stuff. Also, find someone who is a bit more sympathetic to you & your condition. Good Luck!!! :)

~Jennie

www.PassionByJennie.com

Steph said...

I have Hashimoto's and I have had all of those symptoms and have never had an "abnormal" thyroid test. Memory problems, mood swings, anxiety, exhaustion, palpitations, etc. I have gone through periods of my thyroid's being underactive and periods of its being overactive. I saw an endocrinologist a years and a while ago, and he blew me off completely. Now I have thyroid cancer and I have to have the whole gland removed. If this had been treated a year earlier I might not have gotten the tumor. Keep going to new doctors until someone takes you seriously.

Steph said...

(if your blood has the antibodies, you have Hashimoto's, and even if your TSH etc are coming back normal, you should be put on medication, which should make your thyroid go back to normal size. I have no clue why your doctors didn't do this immediately, but find someone who will)

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