Tuesday, January 2

One of those breakups part two

For part one, see below or click the link.

I drove The Ex to the video store where he was supposed to pick up some game rentals for the new X-Box. On the way, we talked about how we had broken the news of our split to our family.

"That's one thing, my family loves you" he reminded me. It was a consolation prize that almost consoled me.

We found the games and as we waited in line, we stood a foot or so apart. "See, this is the thing that bothers me," he confided suddenly. "I should be holding your hand right now, or have my arm around you."

"I know..." I wanted to tell him to do it anyway, because it just seemed right. Instead, we stepped to the front of the line and rented the games. It was clear that he was respecting my wishes, even though it was very hard for him.

Back in the car, I said "The problem with 'dating' right now is that we haven't had time to adjust to being broken up, so it wouldn't really be dating... it would be the same as our old relationship."

He agreed with me. I parked the car outside his house. "I mean, I wouldn't go so far as to have sex with you, but I don't think either one of us thinks that being affectionate means we're a couple again."

We held hands, still sitting in the car. He leaned over and hugged me, a real hug this time. We looked at each other and said a few more things. Then he sighed and mumbled something under his breath.

"What?" I asked.

"I really want to kiss you," he told me, "but I don't want to confuse you."

"Kissing you isn't going to make me think that we're getting back together," I assured him. Still, kissing seemed far beyond hand-holding and hugging. It was more than affection. I couldn't decide whether I should kiss him or not, and though he was close to me, he wasn't making the first move. It was my decision to make. Before I could actually rationalize any decision, I kissed him.

He leaned his seat back and said "come here." I squeezed onto the seat with him and we cuddled and made out.

"You know I want to be with you," he said as we held each other, his voice quiet. I looked at his face; it looked sad. "If you lived here, I would want to be with you. Why can't you just move here?"

"I know," I whispered, resting my head against him. How fucking unfair.

We went back inside and I stayed for a while as everyone watched TV or played cards. The screensaver on his computer came on and a bunch of pictures of me popped up. He pointed at them as they came up. Yeah, he's totally over me. I smiled.

At about 11:30, I told everyone I was leaving. I said goodbye to the family and The Ex walked me out to my car. "What are you doing for lunch tomorrow?" He asked.

"I have a 45 minute lunch, it's at 11:30."

"I'll come visit you for it," he promised.

We kissed each other goodbye and I went home.

I woke up to my phone, and only as I looked at the caller ID did I realize that it wasn't my alarm. It was The Ex. "Hello?"

"Hey, I'm coming over."

"What? Why?"

"Because I want to spend one last night with you in your house." (I'm moving by the way)

"What time is it?"

"About 3am. I'm halfway there, so I'll be there soon."

Great. I took out my sexy retainer and walked down to meet him. Actually, I was pleasantly surprised at how determined he was to see me again, even though it was very inconvenient (the roads were icy). When he arrived I ushered him inside and pulled him up the stairs into my bed. I was all set to go to sleep, and then of course ended up giving him a blowjob (by the way, I can't resist penis).


The Ambiguous Blob said...

This sounds lovely. I hope you also got a hand job, at the very least.

strange bird said...

No wonder he came over.

Have I mentioned this sounds like my ex? Except we were 90 miles apart, not across the country. If he can't handle you being away for a set period of time (which shouldn't even be that much longer), what makes him think you two could work out if you were in the same place? The last time that happened in your relationship, really, you were in high school. You were little kids. You're not even the same people, but if you lived in the same place, all of that wouldn't matter?

Delusional, delusional, delusional. Next time, find someone who, when he misses you terribly and can't wait to be near you, will go down on you instead. ;)

Eileen Dover said...

Oh. I agree the previous comments.

Hope the favour was at least reciprocated.

Life of the Party said...

Well, I am shocked. SHOCKED.

Although not so much.

DYLAN said...


Anonymous said...

break-up sex, get back together sex, and sex in between the breakups is always amazing!

Anonymous said...

I called that one days ago.

Hopefully he returned the favor???

monicker said...

Love should have nothing to do with proximity.

Jazz said...

LOL, nice way to end your post. haa haa. Okay so now I'm all kinds of wondering about your relationship and why it ended and all. I'll have to go and dig. Cause he sounds like a good guy. But only if you got some lovin' back. Otherwise, nope not a good one. He missed you he should have been the one to take a trip down town.

Grant Miller said...

I'm saddened you do not have a character for "Grant Miller" listed.

Harleyblue said...

This is the first time I've read your blog. I've enjoyed it. I'll be back.

I'm still best friends with my ex. I see him at least once a week and make out with him. I have learned to resist the temptation of sex with him because I cry for days afterwards. Unfortunately I'm no help in these situations. I'm still waiting on him. I broke up with him to prove a point. He didn't get the message and now I'm hopelessly in love with him. I would rather have him as a friend than nothing though.

Wanderlusting said...

No relationship ends with a clean break, it's nearly impossible to stop being affectionate cold turkey. If you DID live near him and DID break up then yeah I think it would be harder to break away if you keep being close with each other in that way.

But since you live so far away (which, I agree with the other comments, is NOT a factor when it comes to real love), I suppose it can't hurt if you get some one last time.

Only I hope you got a little something in return (as much I love the penis too, it's always prefered if they return the favour).

Wendy said...

of course. That is the way it is with breakups. It will take a while for the transition and if you keep giving, it will take even longer.

Charm School Reject said...

I bet all of you he was a total dick the next day.....it goes with the pattern.

PS: My sister found this quote that I think really applies to your situation :

Having the Love of your life break up with you but saying "We can still be friends." is like your dog dying and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Carrie said...

Ah yes... once of 'those' breakups indeed.

I've found that one of the hardest things of seeing an ex at any time is that feeling of familiarity, of knowing someone so well and for such a long time that despite being apart, despite being single... how quickly you can fall back onto old times before you know it, and how unnatural it is to have to stop and think about the actions you subconsciously want to do.

Rune said...

"I can't resist penis"

Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa...

Can I come over?

Anonymous said...

"Taking a break" and/or all of this make up/break up type stuff just means that he's fairly certain he can do better, he's just afraid to do it.

Time to stop obsessing and defining who you are through your relationship.

Or maybe some perspective will come with age.