Wednesday, February 7

I can go all night, but I don't recommend it

In case anyone here thinks I'm actually a responsible adult, let me set the record straight:

I'm not.

Last night, I accidentally stayed up all night because I had procrastinated too long on my schoolwork. Whatever, I can handle it every once in a while. Every time I pull an all-nighter, I just think to myself "You're young, it's not a big deal." Except that I also stayed up all night last Thursday writing a paper (for the same class? You betcha!). So I think both my brain and my body were beyond the "I'm a superhero" phase and more into the "Let's fuck with this bitch" mode.

How can you tell when this happens? Well, today I:

- Fell asleep on the train on the way to Grand Central, and actually did one of those lovely twitches to wake myself up. When I opened my eyes, one of them was tearing up because of the aforementioned anger felt by my body. I assume this resulted in mascara running. As soon as I was up, I checked to make sure my wallet was still in my bag.
- Almost ran into the wall while looking around the corner for cute boss. Three times.
- Lost the power to spell "clitoris" in my sex psychology class. I wrote "clitorous" and then stared at the word, bewildered that I had no idea about the correct spelling. I looked at the paper of the person next to me and realized my mistake.
- Was somehow unable to read during another class when my professor told us to quickly look something up. I panicked, then read the same paragraph five times. When that didn't work, I wrote the exact words in my notebook and read them. Smooth.
- Forgot the word "slow-mo" (as in slow motion). Instead, what came out was "Slow-Bo."*
- Think I spoke in some half-English language on the phone with L, who wants to interview me for some article. I can't imagine she got any good quotes.
- Told my roommate "You're like a pillow!"

At least I was charming when one of my sort-of crushes made small talk with me. Either that, or I think I was charming and he may avoid me for the rest of the year. I guess we'll see.

*This isn't a word, but everyone in the room liked it so I plan to continue using it.


Airam said...

I don't know about you but those twitches scare the hell out of me when I wake up because of one of them.

ii said...

I think those twitches are our bodys way of telling us we're not dead yet. Or maybe it's just checking.

Anonymous said...

You are like a totally different person it seems like. I like it.

Funny, happy, cute. I like this blog much better.

Dropout! said...

"My next post will be about an awkward date I went on."

Cough. Cough. LiarWhore. Cough.

By the way, this post is like if you had turned into me for a while. I like it. You should be me more often. Good for the soul.

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

this is why cocaine was invented.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

lack of sleep makes humans very stupid. It's fun!!!

Jazz said...

Sounds like you get SUPER smart when you have no sleep. lol. At least your funny though, that's always a plus. I just get really bitchy.

C'est la vie!! said...

When I was in college (uuhh long time ago, i know :P) I would pull them all-nighters..."studying" with my friends (aka eating pizza and gossiping)...we got hooked on some pills to keep awake :P

last time we used friend passed out in the morning, missed her test, and didnt wake up till the next, during the test my eyes kept moving side to side nonstop and i couldnt control them....then i passed out during the Bio professor felt sorry for me, she woke me up, looked at my test, and gave me three answers to the test...

Kristen said...

Don't feel bad about misspelling clitoris- I actually misspeled the word "shores" today. I wrote "schores." WTF is that?

Ripsy said...

did you forget how conference week works?

Miss Devylish said...

I used to pull the all nighters and it never bothered me. But since I'm older, I can't do that anymore. Lack of sleep for a whole night or even just a few hrs sleep totally messes me up the 2nd day after. The first day I'm just delirious and then I crash hard. But the 2nd day is just plain painful.

Grant Miller said...

You know, clit is more efficient to say and write.

Eileen Dover said...

My problem isn't writing.

It's talking.

I am forever changing the starting sounds with two words. It's my tired brain thinking faster than my mouth works.

The Accidental Bitch said...

airam - They totally do!

ii - I heard somewhere what the scientific reason is. Something about... um... something. God I'm smart.

crystall - Thanks... I'll try to act more stupid all the time, just for you

dropout - Um, I forgot. But I didn't get enough awesome stories from readers to make me feel like I owed them a story.

the very - Nah... Cocaine is from a plant. Not invented.

the ambiguous blob - So do booze and weed. They're also fun. But more expensive, so maybe you're on to something.

jazz - I might've gotten bitchy if I had the guts to. I'm basically a wimp.

c'est la vie!! - Oh wow. That's so intense and scary, I'm kind of afraid of you and your friends now.

kristen - Sounds like you were thinking about doing chores. Which is sad in itself.

ripsy - Apparently, yes.

miss devylish - My brain felt numb. At least that's not pain, but it's kind of scary...

grant miller - Thank you so much, you saved me years worth of writing "oris"! Or "orous" as the case may be.

eileen dover - That happens to me even when I'm not disgustingly tired. Like... night row.

Crazy Girl City said...

I remember pulling all nighters in my earlier days. I don't think I'd be able to do it and truly function now at this point in my life.

Anonymous said...

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