Tuesday, February 20

TAB, the no-fun drunk

On Friday, I spent the evening with my roommates out on the town. And let me just say, it's almost appalling how little my inhibitions change after drinking alcohol.

We were at a bar, the kind where no one really mingles. So we ended up watching (making fun of) the people in the establishment. There was a couple on a date who became more and more... affectionate... as the night progressed. (Free porn? Awesome) There were a bunch of bored-looking chicks at the bar. And, most importantly, there was a cute busboy and a very cute bartender. Unfortunately, though I had received several stares on my way to the bar (all pointed out to me by Heterophobe), neither busboy nor bartender was checking me out at the bar (although I am pretty oblivious).

Since there were no other cute guys around, I kept putting dishes on the edge of our table for the busboy. "We should order more drinks so he'll bring them!" I whispered to Miss Responsible.

"Ooooh, look who has a crush!" She slurred.

"Whatever, I just want to look at him a little bit longer."

"Ask him out!!" Miss Responsible nudged me and winked.

"No way."

"Come on! What have you got to lose?" She nudged me again.

I smiled with embarrassment and laughed at her simultaneously. "My dignity? I'm sure these guys get hit on all the time. Besides, they should be asking me out if they want me."

"Come on, TAB! You're the hottest girl in this bar. They'll be lucky to have you. Just walk up to one of them and give him your phone number."

I was starting to wonder if I was a lame drunk. Shouldn't I be stripping on top of the table by now? Asking a guy out while incredibly drunk should not be a problem. "Maybe if one of them was smiling at me, exchanging words with me... or even looking at me at all, I'd do it. But they're not."

I hoped that this was true and not just an excuse. Otherwise, people will soon realize they can't convince me to do embarrassing things when I'm drunk and stop inviting me to parties.


Miss Devylish said...

Wow! First comment! Yay me!

Sister.. honestly, you're already way ahead of me. This weekend I couldn't drink cuz I wasn't feeling well.. and there were kind of a plethora of cute guys in BC - at the chinese new year parade, a couple at the bar on Saturday, one at the atm before we got there.. all talked to us.. I did nothing. NOTHING! I've turned into Shy Girl. I have to fix this very quickly or I see many cats in my future.

Wanderlusting said...

Devylish - There are cute guys in Vancouver? Fuck me, I never see them.

TAB - I never approach guys either. Not my style. If they want me, they can come and get me. I've been rejected too many times before, there is no way I would do that to myself again. I always feel that if I approached a guy, if he didnt turn me down, he would just be nice to me as to "not hurt my feelings." Probably why I was single for so long, but meh. Whatever.

QueenBitch said...

Vancouver has some cuties for sure!
Personally im just way too shy when it comes to that area I can flirt but you are right you need signs that give you the guts for the go ahead!

kittenpower said...

I'm not a guy approacher either. Not sure why, it's just not my style.

Malnurtured Snay said...

Well, he was probably gay, so he'd've had to turn it down anyway.

Single guy blogging said...

Maybe he wasn't allowed to flirt with you. Not sure what the busboy rules of conduct are these days! You should have done one of those "I think you're cute. Let's dance. Check yes or no." things.. ;) Lame, but when you're drunk that kind of stuff seems perfect!

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

well your just not drinking *enough*.

problem solved.


how was the date?

the very

Strange Bird said...

I agree with the very. You didn't sound very drunk. ;)

The Ambiguous Blob said...

I approach guys all the time and say stupid shit. When I drink, I should wear a shock collar that buzzes me when I'm being completely inappropriate. Just be glad you don't have my problem.

Spill the Beans said...

Actually, i think it's a really good thing that you've found your "line of demarcation" at your age. I was still oblivious to when I'd crossed the line and was having sex with some totally and completely inappropriate guy when I was your age.

Catherinette Singleton said...

I'm guessing that my next trip will have to be to Canada. . .

Jo Jo said...

im a silent reader from Saudi Arabia.
i've been reading ur blog for a long time ago (since u were MBIC) ...
just want to say that i really like ur writings and please keep it up.

The Accidental Bitch said...

miss devylish - I don't like it when I turn into Shy Girl. Is it a bad sign that I love cats?

wanderlusting - Well, I'm not sure if I never approach guys. I need some encouragement, though. But still, if I'm that drunk shouldn't I be okay with it?

queenbitch - I need to check out Vancouver!

kittenpower - Have you done it before, or is style a way of saying "scared"? :P

malnurtured snay - Haha I never think men that I'm checking out could possibly be gay.

single guy blogging - Rules probably don't forbid eye contact. *sigh* and that note totally reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite!

the very - The whole point was, I was sooo drunk if I drank any more I would be vomiting. And the date is tomorrow, I'll be sure to blog about it :)

strange bird - I'm afraid my body simply doesn't allow me to get that drunk; I always vomit before I do crazy things. Although I'm crazy enough sober ;)

the ambiguous blob - Ha! A collar. Well, at least you sound like a funny drunk.

spill the beans - This might be a case of the two extremes... because I'm definitely not wishing for that kind of freedom.

catherinette singleton - Seriously! I'll go with!

jo jo - Thanks! And thanks for not being silent! Glad you like it :)

Songbird said...

What does it mean if you're silly when you're sober?


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