Thursday, February 22

How did she get into college?

Do we all remember the Other Intern? To recap: we do the same job, but while I am cool, she sucks.

Even though Awesome Intern told me that GayBoss likes me better than Other Intern, I had doubts. I mean, how could I know for sure? I'm never there when she is, so I can never tell how GayBoss treats her. And she at least seems to get a lot of work done, so she can't be that much worse than me...

After thinking these things, I become insecure again. I know, it's sad that I need to be better than this girl. But if I can't be better than her, I have no proof that I would be competitive in the job force, and with all these interns lying around I can tell that real jobs are scarce.

Well, now my sad need to feel superior has been fulfilled. Awesome Intern ran into my office and exclaimed, "Did you see the competitive coverage report?"

At a lot of TV channels, someone in the office puts out a report of different shows that played during the week, mostly "notable" programming like season premieres, specials, etc. so that people can stay current without actually watching all those shows. Everyone at my office can submit a review for the report, and apparently everybody who submits gets in.

Awesome Intern showed me the report and I found out just how inarticulate Other Intern is...

About E!'s coverage of the Grammys, she wrote:

"I have to point out that in the middle of the show there was a shot of Jo and Slade taking pictures in front of the step and repeat, which for any of the Orange County fan there will be no guessing for what will happen to the couple this season. Usually The red carpet show with E! this season have been fairly boring but something was in the air...or their drink pre-show because Sunday night Ryan Seacrest and his fellow hosts were not going to hold back with any gossip and fashion opinions. It was nice that the show was live too because it added to the some what unorganized events on the red carpet, typical for the red carpet and entertaining for the people at home. All in all it was a great start to the beginning."

I keep wanting to bold something, as if to point out "Here is the part where she's stupid." The problem is that almost the whole thing would be bolded. I guess I would have to choose the last sentence. Let's re-read that one:

All in all it was a great start to the beginning.

I don't even know what to say.

Okay, okay. Maybe she was just warming up or high on Vicodin. What did she write about the actual Grammys?

"By far the most entertaining awards show of the season so far, I'm doubtful the Oscar's can be more entertaining. Normally this awards show is a good background noise show while I'm cleaning the apartment but Sunday night it proved to be much more then just background noise. The Grammy's this year felt more like a concert with a couple breaks in between songs. The show started off with a much anticipated and memorable performance by the Police. Honestly I didn't think the show could get better from that point.....o but it did....the Dixie Chick followed with a heart felt empowering number and the show continued to know the audience off with one great performance after another."

At some point in here, I start wondering if it's actually me who is too stupid to read. Please tell me I'm not insane. Please?

22 comments:

Malnurtured Snay said...

I have an urge to beat her senseless with a red pen.

Strange Bird said...

In her defense, it was better than what my eighth grade English students would have written.

:-D

Oh-yes-I-did!

chelle said...

I teach Math/French and it still hurts my brain!

caramaena said...

Oh dear...

Well, at least you'll never have to feel insecure about how good you are compared to her.

El Cuervo said...

If the job is media related and I was the boss I would need to have a conversation with her. Nothing major, but she needs to know corporate rule #1:
If you write something smart people might not read it. If you write something dumb, people will not forget it.

Spill the Beans said...

Girl is on crack. Seriously.

Virginia Belle said...

i would bleed all over that thing.

jeezus.

"oscar's"??? "grammy's"???

she has no concept of basic posessive case.

run ons, poor grammar, redundancy, poor sentence structure, tense confusion....i could go on and on.

she's obviously an idiot.

i second el cuervo's comment.

monicker said...

Dixie Chick? What happened to the other two?

CATHERINETTE SINGLETON said...

Slap her, you'll feel better.

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

wow. i hope for her sake she's hot as hell. otherwise she's doomed.

Anonymous said...

She sounds like she's talking on msn!

kittenpower said...

Wow.
Her writing skills are seriously lacking. Or she was on drugs.

Wanderlusting said...

So, how and why did she get this internship, then? Getting an internship at a heralded TV station must be quite competitive, just as competitive as the job market.

Anonymous said...

Wow. It sounds to me that you have nothing to worry about.

i wonder if she did that to try and make herself look better. poor girl....

Amanda said...

I'm surprised she had the gall to send that out into the office. I would be mortified if my coworkers read a piece of my writing that was that ridiculous. If anything it just highlights her inadequacy. No wonder they love you there, you're actually intelligent!

The Boob Lady said...

I am at a loss for words. The red pen as mentioned by snay would do no justice to this abomination of the English language.

Poor OI.

You are obviously much cooler.

ii said...

Oh boy... Sometimes, when I read something in English, and I don't really get what the sentence is about, I think "okay, so I don't know the language as well as I thought, after all."

Then I remember that if I can read the DRDs and such in English, and can mark it down as my first language if I want to (although I'm still bad at spelling. That's what spell check is for, right?), I should be able to understand elementary texts like TV show reviews.

You're not insane.

Airam said...

That didn't even make any fuckin sense.

The Accidental Bitch said...

malnurtured snay - Do it!

strange bird - That's not saying much for her, since she's a senior in college.

chelle - Stupidity will always hurt intelligent people.

caramaena - Haha exactly. And now making fun of her just seems cruel. Oops.

el cuervo - Corporate rule #1! Exactly!

spill the beans - I'd rather not give her any excuses, though.

virginia belle - "I could go on and on"... that's where I run into trouble. When you can't figure out just one thing to point to, it becomes almost mind-boggling.

monicker - lol I know!

catherinette singleton - Oooh! And it won't make her smarter, either.

the very - Oh, she's not. *evil grin*

anon - I know! I was appalled.

kittenpower - Maybe both...

wanderlusting - I have NO idea. I do know that I was their first choice and so they may have chosen whichever other candidate could work with my schedule. But still, these people get screened..

anon - I'm sure she did it to look better... it's so sad!

amanda - I know! If you're stupid, shouldn't you at least hide it?

the boob lady - My sentiments exactly :)

ii - lol good point.

airam - Ugh I know. I don't even know how to deal with it.

Dropout! said...

Man, I may be illiterate, but even I could tell that that girl is fucked in the head.

Songbird said...

She needs a hit with a wet lettuce.

Crazy Eddie said...

I would stab her with a BLUE pen until she bled red...

Ok, maybe not, but according to her Grammy's coverage, you're definitely far superior to her regarding writing skills...

And if you're worried about looking prettier, I'm sure you eclipse her in that category also.

You're a raven beauty...
(don't worry, no stalker here... I'm gay)