Wednesday, March 7

I guess it evens out in the end

On my way to the bathroom yesterday, there were two men wheeling a cart towards the doors that lead to the elevator bank. It was a big cart. They are heavy doors.

"Can I help you with that?" I asked, since I could see that one man would have to hold open two whole heavy glass doors all by himself while the other pushed the cart through. Not even Superman would be able to manage that task alone.

"That would be great," one of them replied. I'm sure he smiled too, but I preferred not to look him in the eye because I had had my fill of visual rape for the day (guy on the train? would NOT STOP looking at me. Guy on the elevator? Constantly checking me out, then HAD to tell me that I look like Angelina Jolie as I escaped from the elevator. Seriously? I don't even know you, dude. And you're like... old).

So I opened the door and held it, then slipped back in the hallway for the bathroom. "God I'm so nice!" I thought. Here I was, with a quite urgent need to pee, and I had just opened the door for these people I didn't even know. I know, it sounds really ridiculous to call that "so nice," but it would have been "so easy" to just walk past them.

A few steps from the doorway, there was a lone glove lying on the floor. "That's probably one of the worker guys' gloves! I should grab it and run back to ask them if it's one of theirs! Hurry, before they get into the elevator!" I couldn't help picturing how heroic that would be (in the lame, office way).

But instead, I just walked past it. "Whatever, it's not my problem." I continued down the hall, but there was a pang of guilt. To the pang, I said: "I really have to pee, and they're probably on the elevator already. And my leg is still hurting, so it wouldn't be wise to run out there, and if I didn't run, I probably wouldn't make it in time. Except I totally could. Well, it's too late now!"

But, of course, it didn't end there.

"That poor man is probably going to be looking for his glove, and I could be the only person who knows where it is! What is wrong with me? I can open a door but I can't pick up a fucking glove? Oh crap. I'm going to feel guilty about this now. I'm going to feel way more guilty than I should though, because now I'm going to picture a man who has lost his glove and cries over it when he gets home or something ridiculous like that. I really shouldn't be that hard on myself... I mean, how do I even know it was his glove? ... Okay, it probably was. But... dammit, I'm such a bitch."

Accidentally, though. I swear.

25 comments:

Wombat said...

This post could be the prologue to your first book, TAB.

Perfect.

Single guy blogging said...

I think you did a good deed followed by a bad deed. It all evens out in the end. :) Don't harp on either...

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

did you make it to the bathroom?

S* said...

Um, won't they have to pass the same way on their way back out to their truck? He's a grown up. I'm sure he can retrace his steps and find his glove.

Sipwine said...

I know that feeling, and I've done stuff similar.

Crazy enough, I end up feeling guilty off and on about it for awhile. So I end up doing more nice things than usual for everyone else.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

he's probably too poor to buy another one too, TAB. Shameful glove leaver.

Wanderlusting said...

I suppose, since you look just like Angelina Jolie, you can get away with that kind of thing. Milk it!

Grant Miller said...

What is, exactly "like...old?"

Hoosier Joe said...

Don't beat yourself up, he could be a Michael Jackson fan ... although the one glove look is so 1983.

monicker said...

Karma shmarma. When ya gotta go, ya gotta go.

WiscoBlonde said...

At least you have enough conscience to feel bad about it. That has to count for something, right?

NeverEZme said...

Did anyone find a glove that I dropped?? It had $200 in it!!

Amy said...

Fanatstic..I tend to have moments like that..I often think am I being mean but then kinda forget about it as am often distracted by something shiney.

kittenpower said...

Sometimes TAB, you just gotta put yourself first.
What if you peed your pants!???!

Miss Devylish said...

That is so a conversation I would have w/ myself..

Spill the Beans said...

You know, cut the old guys some slack. I never realized until I was about 39 how good 18 year olds really look...the guy who sacks my groceries, the one who mows my yard, the college guys who work in the record store.

I know it's pathetic but we really can't help ourselves.

(and the sad part is...I'm a woman--imagine how it is for men)

Airam said...

Ha!!

You sound just like me with your thoughts.

ii said...

Considering the current state of the world, not helping is the norm. So basically you were on the normal part with the glove, got some good karma by heling out. The bad would have been hiding the glove. That's the way I see it.

Then again, I'm always up to mischief, so hiding the glove is a real possibility to me. Well, okay, maybe not for strangers. But I did mismatch all my sister's socks once, for example.

The Accidental Bitch said...

wombat - Thank you :) That was sweet.

single guy blogging - What a coincidence, that's the title of my post! It's okay, I got over it soon enough.

the very - Barely. I may have peed a little on the way. Or I may not have. You decide.

s* - No, they were on their way out, and not going to a truck. I thought maybe he would find it. But I can't assume he did.

sipwine - Hm, that sounds like me except I never did anything nice to make up for it.

the ambiguous blob - Oh no. I hadn't even thought of that one! Great...

wanderlusting - It seems as though I did get away with it. Since the kindness police never approached me to discuss my mistake and all.

grant miller - Too old for him to be a stranger overtly checking me out. Old guys I don't know need to keep it on the DL. Old guys I know can do it if I like them. Whatever you are, grant, I'll say he's older ;)

hoosier joe - That would be even more unfortunate than a regular man without a glove...

monicker - Thanks for your support! Also the heads-up: sounds like I should steer clear of you when you're on the way to the bathroom.

wiscoblonde - I guess that counts for something, even if it gives me deeper frown lines.

neverezme - Um... about that. I totally stole the money. But since you want the glove back so bad, I'll let you buy it off me. ;)

amy - haha, those shiny things get me every time.

miss devylish - Yeah... aren't we awesome? :)

spill the beans - It's okay to look, but I don't want to KNOW you're looking unless it's a possibility. And I don't find 18 year old men as attractive as... early 20's. When there's no stubble, it can be scary.

airam - We're awesome. :)

ii - lol, seriously? That would piss me off soooo much.

ii said...

Yup. She wasn't exactly pleased either, oddly enough. *grin*

Ooooh, shiny things...

Anonymous said...

You're like 21 right? So is 29 too old to be overtly checking you out? I mean, you know, if I was the kind of guy that did that kind of thing.

The Accidental Bitch said...

anon - Nah, 29 is young. Too old to look is probably 40s.

Anonymous said...

So be honest. Are you really as hot as you claim?

The Accidental Bitch said...

Beauty is determined by the viewer, not the person themselves. I don't know what elements of a person's physicality you would consider "hot" so it's hard to know if you would think I'm attractive. Other people seem to.

Del said...

hahah I had a similar thing happen whilst shopping on the weekend. There was a total bitch in the store who kept pushing infront of everyone to get the sales staff to help her first and in the end I notice she had left her wallet on the chair (she must've pulled it out whilst trying on a pair of shoes) and I debated wether or not to tell her but in the end I did tap her on the shoulder and tell her. Bitch didn't even say thank you!!! lol