Wednesday, June 27

At least he's neutered?

I'm staying at L's house this summer.  She's staying at her childhood home with her mom and 12 year old brother.  Having known them all for 7 years, I'm pretty comfortable with her family.  I try not to let it bother me that they never cook actual meals, that her brother still throws two temper tantrums a day, and that the house is generally a mess.
 
L's parents got divorced a little over a year ago, and to console her younger brother, L's mom bought a dog.  I don't remember the breed, but he's about ten pounds and has a penchant for barking and jumping uncontrollably when people enter the room.  In completely predictable fashion, Dog was trained to sit but not to treat the house with respect, so he must be supervised at all times.  His "area" is the kitchen, which is blocked off with doggy gates that Dog can easily scale when he wants to.
 
L and her family left for a week-long vacation early yesterday morning, and I am now responsible for the house, Dog, and L's new kitten.  The night before they left, I got the animal care instructions for Dog: Feed at 6:30am/pm, give him wet and dry food, 1/4 pill of medicine and a dab of pumpkin puree (what the hell...) then take him to the laundry room 10 minutes later so he can poop on his strange little rockery (aka doggy litterbox?).
 
Any excitement over FINALLY having an empty house with The ex-Ex was dashed when I got my period the morning they left.  When I got home from work that night, I decided to take Dog along on my walk.  Seven minutes in, Dog lay down and refused to keep walking with me.  At first I was concerned; did he think I was taking him away from his home, never to return?  Was he scared because his owners weren't home?
 
After a couple minutes of comforting an unresponsive dog, I stopped caring.  I dragged him along with me until he started walking again.  When we got back, it was time for dinner... for both Dog and Kitty.  I took Dog's food out of the fridge and heated it up to room temperature, then set it down.  Dog did not eat.  I prepared Kitty's food, then brought it upstairs to his dining room (the bathroom).  I called for Kitty, but he didn't come over so I went back downstairs looking for him.  He was eating Dog's food.
 
I brought Kitty back upstairs and as soon as I turned around, I found Dog in the hallway.  He had jumped his doggy wall to join us.  I ran downstairs and begged him to follow me, then stood with him in the kitchen trying to get him to eat.  He would not.  Thinking his food was old, I changed it out and gave him new food.  He again refused to eat.  I tried to feed him his pumpkin medicine, but he avoided the pill.  Finally, I forced him to swallow a pill and took him back to the laundry room.
 
When I returned from The ex-Ex's later that night, I got ready for bed and put Dog in his crate so he could sleep near me, as L's mom had suggested.  Then I curled up with Kitty.  As soon as I turned the light out, Dog started howling.  He whined and barked for a good ten minutes before I decided maybe it would be best for him to sleep somewhere that would allow him to go to the bathroom if he needed to.  I moved him to the laundry room and set his crate there, then tried to go to sleep again... But Dog kept whining and barking, and - bonus!! - scratching the door.  The laundry room is right next to my room, so it was a little hard to ignore.  I waited thirty minutes, then pulled Kitty into one arm, my purse and comforter in the other, and went upstairs to L's room to sleep.
 
I woke up to find that I had bled on L's snow-white mattress cover.  Fuck. 
 
I got up, fed Kitty, then let Dog out to eat.  Luckily, he started eating.  I ran upstairs with a towel to try to clean the blood off L's bed.  As I finished, Dog came sprinting up the stairs barking.  I lured him back downstairs, and as soon as I locked his doggy gate with the intention of escorting him to the potty, I noticed some nice fresh poops on the living room carpet.

22 comments:

Ripsy said...

So, what's wrong with the dog?

Oxyclean.

Ripsy said...

Edit: Oxyclean is for the blood, not the dog. Do not Oxyclean the dog.

kittenpower said...

yes, oxyclean on the bed spread and the floor where he pooped.

Anonymous said...

can be a good plot for a movie

Chris said...

This just proves that cats rule and dogs drool.

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

commando + "that time" = problems.

Beatrix Kiddo said...

Pluses- Free room and board and proximity to ex-Ex.

Minuses- Annoying animals to babysit when all you want to do is throw it outside and yell "Shut up!"

I don't know if picking up his poop is worth the roof over your head.

Dropout! said...

HAW-HAW!

*Red said...

Well, now that sounds like alot of fun. Sign me up!!

Grant Miller said...

Oh no. I think I oxycleaned my dog!

Sipwine said...

Oh my god, what a NIGHTMARE!

Get a water bottle and hit the dog in the face, I bet he stops howling.

Wait.. maybe thats for cats....

The Ambiguous Blob said...

fucking dogs! My puppy has a little barking issue that I'm trying to cure him EARLY. Otherwise, it may never stop.

Bridget Jones said...

Sorry that I've been MIA for a while, TAB, but that was both horrifying, worrifying (as a dog lover) and the funniest thing I"ve read in a long long time.

(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

Dizzy said...

Other people's animals are as annoying as other people's children. Wait, does that sound mean? Whatever. It's true. And good luck with the bedspread.

Sex God said...

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BlueLoverGirl said...

OMG, can it get any worse than that??

kat said...

My sister went away on a 6 day business trip and left her female dog with me. Her dog went into heat ten minutes after my sisters flight left.

I have two male dogs.

Cue the bow-chika-bow-wow music.

Miss Devylish said...

Man.. that sucks. I agree w/ the oxyclean.. and dogs can't be helped when the owner is away. They sometimes don't eat regularly and they do misbehave. No fun for you.

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