Thursday, September 13

Remember those Airheads (candy) jokes? I miss those

It's a shame when smart people do stupid things. Today, I have a list.


This is the first week of classes, and today was the first day of my anthropology class. I woke up at 10am to be ready by 11:05am. I checked my email, showered, checked my email again, straightened my hair, got some coffee and sat down for a few minutes with some friends I ran into. I checked the time on my cell phone; it was 10:58 and my class was probably 3 minutes away. But in case the professor was one of those who thought that 11:05 meant 11:00, I thought I might as well show up a little early.

As I arrived, I saw through the glass double doors that the room was full already. Is a class getting out late? I wondered, looking to see who was inside. I recognized the professor as the one teaching this class, though, and several students I knew were also in the class. It was 11:01, but why did everyone at the table have their names printed on those cute little triangles in front of them if they had just arrived? I opened the door, alarmed.

"Oh, hi TAB!" The professor had interrupted himself to greet me. He looked down at his watch. "Did you go to a different building?"

Still confused, I slowly stepped farther into the room. "Um... no. I thought class started at eleven."

The professor proceeded to tell me that everyone had been there since 9am, and class was actually ending. I must have looked bewildered, because a moment later he laughed and informed me that class started at 10:30 instead of 11am. I sighed and sat down.


Ex Roommate asked me if I wanted to go to various places on campus with her in order to apply for jobs. Our new library boss had hired too many workers, leaving us with half the hours we had expected. My hours had luckily been restored when a friend of ours quit, but Ex Roommate still needed more hours. I decided to go with her anyway, in case I somehow magically decided I had time for more work this year.

After applying to the first place, Ex Roommate told me she needed to go to a class. I offered to pick up the remaining applications for her, and she seemed interested. To this end, I went to the College Events office, asking if there were any open positions. Vetoing sign maker, poster colorer, and event babysitter, I told the helpful gentleman there that I would be interested in an office position. He gave me a form asking for contact information and told me to write my availability on a sheet of paper for him.

Deciding not to apply for this one, I wrote Ex Roommate's name and number, then realized I didn't know her schedule. Not wanting helpful office guy to know that it wasn't actually me applying, I stepped into the hallway to call Ex Roommate. After getting her hours, I returned the forms and was preparing to leave when helpful guy offered his hand and told me his name. I started to reply with my name, but abruptly stopped as I realized he had just looked down at the name on the form, which was not mine. By the time I caught myself, it was too late to lie about the name. I took his hand, shook it firmly with a smile, and darted away.


My first assignment for my filmmaking class was, believe it or not, to make a short film. The tricky part in this case - more than the usual getting actors, cameras, lights, a set, a script - was that you are not allowed to edit. So you can pretty much only do one take, unless you are somehow able to rewind to the exact position you messed up and tape over it.

Having rehearsed our third segment (from Action to Cut in this specific shot), I said "Ready?"

The actors confirmed that they were ready.

I clicked Record, it made the nice loud beep that indicates it is indeed recording. At this point, I freaked out. I thought: "I know it made a beep, but did they hear it? Even if they heard it, does that mean they know it means go? I didn't say action! But don't they know what the beep means? What should I do?"

I said "Action". Yes. I said "Action" after I pushed record, on a film you are NOT allowed to do multiple takes on.


How many stupid things does one have to do before it goes from a smart person doing stupid things to just a stupid person?


Dropout! said...

Hold on a second-you think you're smart?

Also. "Helpful gentleman"? What are you, a 60-year old Southern lady?

Also also. I'm pretty sure the gentleman has heard of the idea of people filling out school paperwork for other people. Spaz.

Although I can't really talk. Tonight on the train I was talking on my cell when I realized we had been cut off and I had, in fact, been talking to myself for a minute or so. Instead of cursing the phone and putting it away, I pretended like we hadn't been cut off and faked a goodbye. She called back a minute later and I tried not to let on to the whole train that it was the same person.

I don't think it worked.

Ripsy said...

HAHA. To dropout, not you.

Big Momma Pimpalishisness With A Cherry On Top said...

mmmm airheads are good. do they still make them? Oh yeah they do, I just had some a few months ago, duh...ha.

Feel better?

Also, ha to dropout. I've done that before. not on a train though, we don't really have trains around here.

PersonalJ said...

Oh man, this post makes me miss school somthin' fierce. Not sure why though.

I totally related to the showing up to class at the wrong time. I once missed the first lecture of a psych class because I thought it started at 4PM...oh no, it started at 14:00...also known as 2PM.

Sipwine said...

You need coffee, and in the worse sort of way.

Anonymous said...

I think you are allowed an infinite number of fuck-ups wihtout it ever meaning you are a stupid person. Why? Because only a smart person would know they are fuck ups and allow the rest of us to be entertained by them:)

The Accidental Bitch said...

dropout - Um.. "helpful gentleman" was meant to sound over the top. And I checked: he has not heard of this. Also, I definitely heard you do this and you FAILED.

ripsy - I'm glad you've started reading the comments instead of the posts. Next you'll comment without reading either, I hope. It'll be like Madlibs.

big momma - I like your blogger name... It has a feel of whimsy. With a cherry on top.

personalj - Did they print the class times in military, or is that all you?

sipwine - I couldn't agree more. I did BRING my first coffee of the day to that class...

blue - Ah, good point. I always underestimate myself!

Dropout! said...

Eh, I'm used to failing. I mean, I can't even figure out that my funny stories about how dumb I am should go on my own blog, instead of in comments on someone else's.

In other news, Big Momma and I should start a club. For super cool people.