Thursday, December 13

Lost in thoughts.... about thoughts... wait. What?

I'm getting tested for ADD.

My dad was diagnosed a few years ago. He researched it, talked to professionals about it, and started taking Adderall. In high school, he took my brother to get tested. My brother was also diagnosed, and after taking Adderall his grades went from D's to B's.

I've always done well at school, but mostly because I know how to bullshit. I never actually read most of the books that are assigned to me, even though I am taking classes that interest me. I have other symptoms as well: I tune people out in conversation (even when I am interested), I start projects but don't finish them, I can't read more than two sentences to a page at a time without getting distracted.

It's gotten to the point where I feel like I have no idea what the hell I am doing, every day. And I hate it. No matter how many lists I write, I can neither complete things on the list nor find it. The more this happens, the worse I feel about myself. Why can't I read a book?

The thing that really scares me, though, is having to figure out what the problem is if I don't have ADD.

5 comments:

Courtney said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'm actually in the process of getting help myself. It is really frustrating to experience things like that as an adult. You always feel like you could be so much more if you were just able to think and process NORMALLY. My thoughts are with you... I know how much it can suck. I hope it works out soon!

Tex said...

It is
VERY frustrating. I know, the weed helps. I should probably get tested but I have never pursued it and I can bullshit well too. Tell us what they do, I'm curious. Thanks TAB< Tex

Anonymous said...

i feel your pain. truthfully though - even though weed might help, in the long run it's going to make it worse.

pink jellybaby said...

holy moley. hope that you get the results that you would like to....

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel, the scariest part is totally if/when the doc says 'actually, that's not the problem. So we're gonna do loads more tests until we actually find out what it is. Or u could just live with it...'
P.S. Could you add me to your links please?! (Hope that doesn't sound too desperate...) I've just started a blog and need publicity! I always read yours and so have linked u to mine, hope that's ok?
my link is www.theanonymousprincess.blogspot.com
Thank you, anyone else feel free to check it out!!