Tuesday, January 23

If you really want to know, just sleep with him

Ladies, have you ever wondered if the guy with whom you're sharing an innocent good time is being sincere? Have you ever thought, "He seems really nice... but is he just trying to get into bed with me?"

Gentlemen, have you ever pretended to be a nice, charming guy so that a woman would sleep with you? ... That was a hypothetical question.

Since this thought often occurs to me, I have to wonder: would it be better to just sleep with a guy so I can find out what he's really like? If he's still a good guy, he's a keeper; if he's an asshole then I find out right away.

PS. Condom donations appreciated.


Strange Bird said...

I've actually never wondered that. That may be in part because, in the past, I've made them wait so long that they wouldn't stick around if that's all they were in it for, but in more recent years it's because I've been the one pushing sex. (Not that I ever had to push very hard.)

Maybe this is not good advice, but I'd say, sleep with him if you want to sleep with him, and don't if you don't. If he turns out to be an asshole, hopefully the sex was good.

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

definetly sleep with them as soon as you can.

the very.

Eric said...

YES, many times.

I think you should sleep with him as soon as humanly possible. Matter of fact, call him now and ask him to come over.

"Condom donations appreciated", what about sex donations?

monicker said...

Well, if he's a real asshole, you might not find out till he's done playing.

But, of course, it would be fun to find out just how much of a jerk he is, eh?

Miss Devylish said...

Ha.. yes. Always wonder that and always assume if any flirting is involved at all or any compliments that yes, being nice = he's trying to see if I'll allow him a horizontal dance.. and honestly, in my experience, even the nicest guy turns into a jackass if you sleep w/ him right away.. but eh, it depends on the sitch.

Charm School Reject said...

I'm gonna go ahead and assume (and hope) that this whole post is tongue in cheek. BUT no matter which way you slice it, if you hold out on a guy for while you are a prude or a cock tease. If you sleep with him too soon, you're a slut. Gotta love them double standards, eh?

Anonymous said...

Good question, but I fear the man is doing the same assessment, "If I sleep with her right away, she is not a keeper" yet that same man will be willing to sleep with you right away. Men are a mass of contradictions sometimes!

Eileen Dover said...


But they still don't get my pooty.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

After reading this post, George Michael's "I want your sex" began playing in my head.
I'm going to go with my subconscious here and strongly suggest that you listen to George Michael and then decide what to do.

Airam said...

Sleep with a guy to see if he's an assehole?

I think you'd find out whether you slept with him or not.

Dropout! said...

#1: Who are you planning on fucking?

#2: How do you feel about double penetration?

#3: Why am I online on my birthday?

Dropout! said...

By the way, the answers to the previous 3 questions, in no particular order, are:

Because I'm awesome.

Anyone but plane guy because I'm a pansy.

Great! Yet terrified...

The Accidental Bitch said...

strange bird - It's true, and I don't think it's bad advice. I also hate looking like a prude but like to make them wait.

the very - Duly noted

eric - lol, sex donations. I'll consider if I get really desperate.

monicker - Hmm, good point. I'm not sure if "fun" is the right word to use there. Maybe "heartbreaking"?

miss devylish - That's the problem, they think you're a slut if you sleep with them right away but get pissed off when you wait too long. Those perfect ones are all taken because the women know they found a good one.

charm school reject - Just a little tongue & cheek. It's like you know me! And yeah, double standards frustrate me.

bluelovergirl - So true. We can never win.

eileen dover - Crazy prude! (just kidding) ... or am i...

the ambiguous blob - Hm... I'm not big on music, but the voices in my head might help guide me!

airam - True, but I meant to get the ulterior motives out of the way right off the bat. And to find out sooner than later.

dropout - Are you suggesting that I not respond to your comment? Don't worry, I will never fuck the plane guy. :'(

S* said...

I'm with Airam on this one. Whether you sleep with him or not, you'll find out if he's an asshole.

Sleeping with a guy just to find out his motives seems weird to me...unless of course, you want to sleep with him whether he's a jerk or not.

Virginia Belle said...

i would not advise this.

yes, i am speaking from experience.

now, i wait at LEAST a couple of months.

why let yourself be potentially used??? why open yourself up to bad things happening???

having sex too early will make the relationship nothing but sexual. if that's what you want, knock yourself out.

how about trying this: get to know the guy well enough, and you will see him for what he really is, for better or worse. this takes time. there is no substitute.

Songbird said...

Don't know how it's possible to separate feelings from physical stuff. No am not preaching, I just can't ummmm get to my destination if I don't really like the guy and if he isn't truly into me too. Honest (Well, maybe it's more like it isn't worth the trouble).

Anonymous said...

I slept with homeboy the first night we ever hung out after working together for awhile.

I guess it worked - I found out right away what he was after. And not after.

Spill the Beans said...


To me, sex isn't good if I wake up the next morning with my hair all rumpled, lipstick smeared all over my face, a white spot on the dark sheets, and feeling abandonated.


I can't settle anymore for cheap random one-night stands. I'm too demanding. I want it all...emotional connection, reassurance of how fabulous I was afterwards, and great sex.

Wanderlusting said...

I'm with Strange Bird...sex should happen because you want it to, not because you have a point to prove.