Monday, April 9

Early morning catastrophe

This morning, I woke up extra early to get ready for my internship because I had a special task. Last Thursday, Kansas boy asked me if I could fill in for him on his day off. Kansas boy is the executive assistant to the president of the TV channel I work for. You can't come late to work to screen calls for the president of the channel.

Kansas boy had asked me to come by 9:30am, a whole half hour before my usual call time. But since I wanted time to settle in and get some coffee and water before I would be chained to his desk, I decided to aim for 9am. Coming from my school, this meant waking up at 7am. And, of course, I went to bed at 2am. Is there any other way to live?

With me, you can tell there is something very important happening on a given day when I wake up within five minutes of my alarm's first ring. Today, I was up within five minutes. I went to the shower, turned the water on and waited for the temperature to change. It didn't. I kept thrusting my right arm into the water, long enough for my arm to get used to the cold water and fool my body into thinking the water was actually getting warmer. So I tested with my other hand, and my suspicions were correct: no hot water. I cursed at the shower, then made some judgment calls. I held my hair up with one hand while I soaped with the other hand in the freezing cold water. My shower lasted less than five minutes.

Then I had to get dressed. I had run out of the underwear that I usually wear (laundry day is impending), so I picked the most comfortable thong I own. I dressed, did my make up, and was ready to brush my teeth and head out the door (right on time) when I got my period. The underwear was unsalvageable. I ran to the bathroom and get a tampon, changed into ANOTHER thong, and called a cab to get to the train station. I make the train I was aiming for, using the last of my cash for the taxi.

On the train, my recent gift of allergies started bothering me and I realized I had forgotten to bring a napkin or tissue to blow my nose into. I tried to covertly squeeze the snot onto my fingers and wipe it off on my coat (classy, I know). When I got to Grand Central, I grabbed a napkin from the Starbucks to relieve me of my misery and then went to the Rite Aid for some antihistamines. When I arrived, there were about 15 people waiting to pay. "Fuck it" I thought, contemplating a 180 back toward the subway. But I knew there was no way I could get through the day without some meds so I waited in line to pay.

Task completed, I walked to the subway, where none of the ticket machines were taking credit cards. How convenient! Right after I had spent all of my cash. I went to the info desk, which was inundated with people, and told the woman there that I had no cash, waving a debit card at her instead. She kindly opened the door for me and let me through without paying (score!).

I arrived at the office at 9:20 and introduced myself to the PRESIDENT of the channel! And then I sat down in Kansas boy's seat and hoped that nobody would call.

16 comments:

Sean said...

how'd the rest of the day go?

The Boob Lady said...

Did anyone call?

Princess Extraordinaire said...

I am proud of you for making it there amidst all of you hurdles - well done!

monicker said...

Nothing like a surprise period and allergies to make your day go smoothly!

Dropout! said...

Ok, so your morning was kind of crappy, but "catastrophe"? That's a little melodramatic. Your overriding concern was to not be late, and you were ten minutes early. I'm just saying. Heart you!

GETkristiLOVE said...

I hate when I run out of cash and then need some minutes later.

caramaena said...

Crappy morning yes, but how cool that you got to meet the president of the channel? Not to mention they must be confident of your abilities to fill in for his exec assistant :) WTG!

Tex said...

Way to overcome. And I like my women dramatic. Good story.

kittenpower said...

Ugh! At least you had given yourself extra time...!

Heather said...

Great job! End result was good. Had it been me, I probably would've ended up late, with snot on me, and blood seeping through my pants, and crying. Ew.

Beatrix Kiddo said...

Snot is definitely classy. Ask anyone. And it's a good thing you aimed for 9:00 instead of 9:30. It's like you subconsciously knew something catastrophic would happen.

Grant Miller said...

Give me the number. I'll make prank calls to you all day.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

sounds like a fun morning! It's a good thing you noticed your womanlyness before you left the house. To do otherwise would have been catastrophic.

trouble said...

ssshhhhhh...we've all done the snot thing. ;)

Malnurtured Snay said...

Woo! Hope you had a great time and didn't mess anything up!

The Accidental Bitch said...

sean - It was okay, or the post would have been longer :D

the boob lady - Yes... but I handled it like a pro!

princess extraordinaire - Good thing I planned on being early! :)

monicker - I know, those were my two least favorite parts.

dropout - You try to post every day and not make things seem melodramatic.

getkristilove - It happens all the freaking time in New York.

caramaena - I know, it was pretty cool. Even though I'm glad it's over, whew.

tex - Heh, I have no idea why you think I'm dramatic...

kittenpower - I know! Imagine if I hadn't... not good.

heather - Yeah I don't know if I would have been able to go if the blood actually seeped through my pants. Maybe I would go buy a new pair at a store.

beatrix kiddo - I should plan for catastrophes less often. Maybe that'll make them more infrequent.

grant miller - What kind of crazy plan is that?! Then I wouldn't be able to sit at the desk and stare blankly ahead!

trouble - Yes but I didn't wash my hands before I shook the prez's hands... heh.

malnurtured snay - Unlike in my private life, I never mess up on the job. Sometimes it'd be nice to switch that around.