Wednesday, April 11

A pinch of adorable

I invited The Filmmaker over for an incredibly late (midnight) impromptu dinner last night. He said "I'm hungry" and I realized that I should probably eat something before bed, so invited him over. Out of the kindness of my own heart. Also because I didn't want to do any more work.

Instead of putting on real clothes, I went for the sexy PJ look (so, my PJs).

We sat and talked while the pasta boiled. He was possibly getting a job post-graduation and I was excited for him. Also for myself: he could get to know all the key players and introduce me before I graduate next year.

A couple days before I had talked to him online.

"What was your plan?" I asked him.

"What do you mean?"

"Your plan. After you told me you were interested in some kind of romantic involvement, was your plan to just have sex with me for a month until you graduate?"

"Sort of."

At first, I felt kind of hurt. He just wanted to use me, then. How could he just want to screw me and abandon me? I put myself in his shoes. If I was interested in him but leaving the area in a month, a fling was pretty much the best we could do. So it was either that, or he was planning to find someone easy to have sex with. Of course I had to ask him.

"If you weren't leaving in a month, would you want more than a fling?"


So the guy I've been interested in for two years finally wants me. Would want to date me. And now I had invited him into my house to share a meal. Great plan.

Things were going swimmingly until I couldn't think of anything to say. We had finished eating and it was getting really late. I didn't want him to leave yet, but it was bound to happen soon and if we didn't keep talking, probably within a minute or two. But my mind was blank. I just looked at him, sitting across from me looking right back at me. And then he finally spoke.

"This would be so much easier if we were dating."

Uh oh. "What would?"

"Well, if we were together we would just go upstairs and go to bed together until we fell asleep. But this way, I have to go back to my room and lay in bed awake and wait until I fall asleep by myself."

Oh. I had thought he was going to start talking about sex and how much he wanted to do me, or something eloquent like. But no, he wanted to go upstairs and fall asleep together.

I know he's not perfect. But I can't help comparing him to The ex-Ex and wondering if I like him more. Even if The Filmmaker would only be for a month, liking anybody more than The ex-Ex doesn't seem like a good sign.



Woman!! This was cleary his secret code way of luring you to your bedroom. He was playing nice to see if you would take him up on it. Then, once in your bed, I'm sure he would have made his move and had his dirty way with you.

Oh, AB, why, why did you not take him up on that??

Sipwine said...

I've been in your shoes.
ex-Ex is a comfty cushion.
He's the lazy boy you've had for years and years and feel comfortable in it even if it's ratty and old. FM is the nice, expensive, new, top of the line arm chair that you can't stop drooling over in the Crate and Barrel window.

Now you've just realized that the chair is on sale at your price range and you know it'd match your couch perfectly.

Decided on what to do.
Get rid of the Lazy boy and upgrade?
Keep the Lazy boy because you know you can fall asleep at night in it.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes it's not really the boy that we miss and are pining for. (ex-Ex)
It's the loss. Trust me. It's the bitter sweet ending of your first true love.

The College Chronicler said... seems like he's running game on you! Girl, go for it! :)

Beatrix Kiddo said...

Okay, so he would want more than a fling if he wasn't graduating in a month. That doesn't change the fact that he's leaving, though. And it would take more than a month to convince this guy you're worth a long-distance relationship (I know, I've tried). So all thoughts of the ex-Ex aside, you should really consider whether or not you could handle him walking in and out of your life in such a short period of time.

To build on sipwine's furniture analogy, FM is the perfect new armchair that you can only keep for a month before gremlins steal it.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

do you really NEED to be in a relationship right now?

Beautiful-hustle said...

Well, I'm a little late...but none the less caught up! I went back and read MBIC (loved it) and now I'm here to meet and greet with the AB. You've been through a lot huh?
But as almost everyone else stated, of course you must know, that "going up stairs" was his way of getting a piece, and defintely not just sleeping!

Anonymous said...

Just dont do anything you would want your boyfriend doing..... like having late night dinners with women who want to sleep with him ;)

Anonymous said...

I think your last sentence says it all...whether you are interested in FM or not - the fact that you are doubting your feelings for ExEx so shortly after getting back with him is sort of um, bad.
Speaking of that - when do we get the story of how you 2 got back together?

Heather said...

Hmmm, toughie. I mean, you like both! And the new-ness of FM is exciting--gives ya a boost, flirting is fun! I am kind of in a similar situation at the moment, agh! But, he is leaving in a month--and that sucks.

Sipwine said...

To Beatrix:
Nice twist! I hate Gremlins, the always take all my good furniture. ;)

Yes, I agree with that.

tex said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tex said...

Tex say:
One month of happiness better than 3 months of wondering how it would be.
(But I'm impulsive).

Princess Extraordinaire said...

You've been waiting for this moment forever! He was prime!!!

Wanderlusting said...

Let's ignore the fact that some hot guy tried to get in your pants and all the "woooo you go girls."

Its obvious he likes you and, who knows, might be more than just a potential fling.

But, as Crystall said, you should probably think about what this means to you and your bf.

You invited a guy you crush on for a late night meal. Wear sexy pajamas. You obviously want this guy to like you (and believe me, there is no shame in that).

But this is not what someone is a content and happy relationship does. I should know. This is you looking to see if there is anything better out there.

Nothing wrong with that either, but I think it's a fairly clear sign that it's time to move on. I can't say how you feel about your Ex, but I think that once you entertain the idea of being with someone else and then take it further by questioning if you might even like that person more than the one you are with...I don't know.

Bottom line is, if he did the same to you (albeit with a hot girl), how would you take that? You would probably assume his heart is not in the relationship. And you would probably get pissed off (well, I know I would).

The thing to think about here is not about how you feel about the new guy but how you feel about the ex. And if you do think your ex and you have something worth saving and fighting for - I would think twice about late night dinners with a hot guy. It may come to bite you in the ass later.

(sorry to sound lecturing, it's just I've kinda been in the same situation and I sure learned my lesson ;)

Airam said...

He's just saying that to get in your fucking pants!!!!!!!!!

Wake up and smell the k-y!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sean said...

interesting... can't wait to see how this one shakes out... although i realize your life isn't here just for our entertainment.

Wombat said...

You're in jimjams and he hasn't at least made some oblique sexual reference?

Just the smell of your jammies would have my Mr Percival egging me on to at least ask.

S* said...

I'm totally with Wanderlusting on this one. And I have to second The Ambiguous Blob as well.

Just because the Ex-ex is familiar doesn't mean he's what you need at this point in life. Love doesn't need to be so difficult. And what about taking a nice little breather and getting your head straight before you start something new, whether with a new guy or the Ex-ex?

Anonymous said...

Liking someone better than the ex-ex is a bad sign for the ex-ex, right? Not for you though, it just clarifies how you feel about the men in your life.

John said...

What is really sad here is that THREE of your commenters (catherinette, chronicler, princess) have basically recommended you cheating on your boyfriend. If this is their sense of morality, they will get theirs someday. As far as you go, you are in dangerous territory here. If you are with your boyfriend, it's time to stop inviting other guys you like over for dinner, right? Cause it's heading in a bad direction.