Saturday, April 7

The Noisy Ghost

I am what I will call half friendly. What this means is that I will be friendly, but only under some circumstances:

- When other people are being friendly to me, I usually reciprocate. Unless they murdered my dog or slept with me without my consent or I think they're talking to someone else, there is really no reason to ignore someone who is saying hello.

- If I don't know someone, but know I have something in common with them, I will usually talk to them. For instance, if I recognize somebody from a class of mine, I often smile, say hi, and sometimes even go so far as to say "How are you?" But that one's only if they're lucky.

- When I randomy feel like it, I will be friendly to people I don't know. Strangely enough, this often happens when I am drunk. Hm.

- If someone is avoiding eye contact with me, I often don't talk to them. They're clearly not interested in acknowledging my presence, so I will leave them alone.

I work in the library at my school, so I end up seeing pretty much anyone who needs a book on Saturdays and Mondays. Sometimes people are friendly, sometimes not, and usually I could care less because I tend to make silly comments in the hopes that I can entertain myself.

When my bipolar, passive aggressive ex-roommate who called me The Devil checked out a book, it was nice to watch her avert her eyes and imagine that I had the power to hold her library books just beyond her grasp.

There is one girl who I'll take the liberty of calling The Noisy Ghost, who is so pale I wonder if she shields her face with an umbrella when she goes outside, or only lets the moonlight bathe her. She also talks about three times as louder than necessary and wears her millions of keys on her belt so that when she walks around they jangle. If she walks too much, I can hear the keys begging me to scream at her.

The Noisy Ghost works at the library. She is also friends with a girl who lives in my house, who I call The Grinch because she is always yelling at us to be quiet and my friends downstairs report that an unbearable stench emanates from her bedroom. Though it surprised me that The Grinch had a social life at all, I was not too shocked by the pairing of The Grinch and The Noisy Ghost. Well, needless to say, The Noisy Ghost has come over a few times and we have also seen each other working at the library. When I pass her on campus (only at night, of course) I usually try a "Hello."

This week, The Noisy Ghost sent out an email to all the library student staff asking if somebody could cover her Friday shift. I, excited to make $16, told her I would do it. So I was surprised when I saw her clanging her way into the library and milling around in the DVD section. Why was I working for her if she was free? If I had begged coworkers to cover my shift on a Friday, I would steer clear of the library. Personally, though, I was still ecstatic enough about the $16 to mind. She could be out taking a nap for all I cared; I wanted my $16!

But when she came to the desk and asked me to get a DVD for her, without writing down its number and without saying Please, I was a little put off.

"Sure," I responded, and retreived the DVD angrily.

There was no recognition in her eyes. There was no "Thanks for covering for me!" Also missing? A "Hello." I smiled at her while I scanned the DVD and told her when it was due. It was obviously a "Hi, I know you" smile.

And from her: Nothing.

Fucking bitch.


Princess Extraordinaire said...

Sounds like she deserves her new moniker..

Miss Devylish said...

I don't know why ppl are like that.. but I'd agree w/ the first commentor.. a new nickname would be appropos.

Bridget Jones said...

Wonder if she's got a mental thing going on? Or if someone cancelled out on her for that day off?

Anonymous said...

Maybe she has an equally evil twin. Or maybe there is just something wrong with her.
How many hours do you work to make that $16?

sarah said...

uh-oh, I'm guilty of that sometimes when I'm too spaced out for my own good...though it didn't sound as if she was preoccupied with a bothersome thought. So bitch it is.

Sipwine said...

So today I found out that I'm a "positive bitch" which means that even though I'm a bitch, I'm very positive about it. There is nothing Accidental for me.

Which leads me to tell you, that if that was me, I'd say as positively as possible "Hi Noisy Ghost, what the fuck am I doing here if you are free there? As soon as you answer, I'll be your lap dog and run and get you this DVD."

Positively bitchy, I tell you.

monicker said...

I can't stand when people are like that! I work with a bunch of near-hermits and it's quite annoying to be glared at or completely ignored when greeting someone.

Airam said...

Fucking bitch indeed!

Dropout! said...

Clearly she has no social skills if she's friends with the Grinch.

And thanks, I had managed to forgot about seeing The Beast.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

I sense a situation more scandalous going on just beneath the surface here.

Beatrix Kiddo said...

It sounds like she was intimidated and couldn't believe that someone as cool as you was being nice and covering her shift, so she had to come check it out herself. Oh, and she's almost legally blind so she has a difficult time reading facial expressions. And she has a short term memory thing so she forgot her manners and the DVD number.

Wombat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wombat said...

I think I love Miss Devylish for using the word apropos.

kittenpower said...

Oh, that would piss me off!

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

what do u think the unbearable stench is?

Grant Miller said...

Is your bi-polar ex roommie you know, available?

S* said...

I don't waste my energy on people like that. She wants to be a bitch. Let her live her bitchy sniveling sorry life. Meaness sucks. Karma rules.

The Accidental Bitch said...

princess extraordinaire - Perhaps. I'll have to run that by her, see what she thinks.

miss devylish - It doesn't matter WHY they're like that, it just matters that they stop.

bridget jones - Someone like...? Because it definitely wasn't for a date. Just saying.

anon - Two. I know: I'm rakin' in the big bucks.

sarah - My rule is: If you're near me, you shouldn't be preoccupied. I am all that matters. (Also, she's always like this.)

sipwine - I don't think "positive bitch" is quite the right term for it, dear. I think "total" or "outright" would be better qualifiers. Maybe you don't nag, but "positive" makes it sound like you're being nice.

monicker - Completely unfair. And, hermits? Scary.

airam - And here I thought I was using strong language. Thanks for your support.

dropout - Now that I know it bothers you to remember The Beast, I'm going to remind you of her whenever I get a chance. Like right now.

the ambiguous blob - No, she's just sucky. If there was scandal, I wouldn't hold back.

beatrix kiddo - You sure are giving her an awful lot of excuses... I feel betrayed.

wombat - Love is a strong word. Use it wisely, love.

kittenpower - Yes, which is why her nickname is so ghastly.

the very - Realistically? I heard the floor in her room was rotting. Hypothetically? I think it's coming from her rotting soul.

grant miller - Ew I hope so.

s* - If karma exists, why am I not a billionaire? Ehhh? ;)